you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
