I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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