They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize