It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
