In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
