He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
