He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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