In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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