So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
