I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
