I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
