I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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