Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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