Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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