If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
no more duck duck goose at the bar
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
