so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize