A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
