there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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