dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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