Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
