ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize