Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
God I need to hump something, right now.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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