Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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