He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize