I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize