It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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