Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
