He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
