so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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