I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
