i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
