that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
operation harelip BJ is a go
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My dick has a subreddit
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
