does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
