Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
