i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
sex in a hospital.. check
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
