you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
