Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
