Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
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