I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
