Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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