what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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