What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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