I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize