Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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