whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
