is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
