So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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