I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
