I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
