You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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