I want to have your abortion
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Randomize
