Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize