why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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