Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
