Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
