i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
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You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
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I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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