if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I wish there were birth control emojis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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