He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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